Based on about 200,000 ratings from about 34,000 people we found that:
Longer whoopee cushion sounds are funnier. The funniest sound was extremely long (7 second) sound. The least funny were very short sounds. So better to sit down on a whoopee cushion slowly?
Sounds with a whinny quality were funnier
The sounds got funnier the more you listen to
Younger people found whoopee sounds funnier than older people
People in Europe find whoopee cushion sounds funnier than Americans
Small changes in pitch didn’t affect how funny the sounds were
All I have to do now, is write this up for Nature.